life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
I don’t even watch Doctor Who, but you have no idea how heavily invested I am in seeing this man in the role.
I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”
Oh my god
I WILL NEVER STOP LOSING IT AT “FUCK YOU LADY.”
Oh my god the “FUCK YOU LADY” is the best
YESSS THIS POST IS BACK
The physics and “FUCK YOU LADY” are definitely my favorite ones.
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.
what i love about mythbusters is that once they bust a myth they manipulate their variables until something finally explodes bc we all know why you’re really watching this show
Donald Trump’s ugly son and Mitt Romney’s ugly son should hang out. I’d like to see that Facebook album.
Oh jesus they look exactly like every smarmy rich kid stereotype in every movie ever
They looked like someone threw a spoon into a bowl of runny mashed potatoes